For Lazy, Apathetic People: Easy Ways to Have The Worst-Looking Lawn in The Neighborhood

there are "some" in this country, and no, I am not in-need of a soapbox, that are just down-right lazy, apathetic and could care less about their job, their looks, their appearance, and even the appearance of their lawns.

Realistically speaking, I can relate to the last item. I hate lawn work. Well, not the work as much as the boiling-hot sun beating-down on my neck, face, and parching back at over 93 degrees. But such as it is, lawn work is one of life's necessities that we responsible people are expected to do on a regular basis if we want to keep our place of respect in our community.

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lazy, apathetic people, I am not on your case, so relax like you do most of your time. I am not one to hinder, harm, or affect your lazy lifestyle. I am just here really to help nurture your non-caring attitude of just letting things go, including your lawn.

Yeah, why bother cutting grass, sweating, getting stung by wasps, and bitten by stray dogs when you can lay around inside under the air conditioner watching ESPN, dozing, and snacking on bags of Cheet-Os while letting the world turn in its own way? Your lifestyle just might be the answer to most of the world's problems. Have you ever thought of that?

let people around you do their own thing--which today in 2014, can be adapted into allowing grass that God created to also do its own thing, grow, flourish and decorate the pretty world where we all live.

What will be accomplished by not doing lawn work

• Helping our ozone to stay intact. With your lawnmower and Weed-eater not running, you are doing your part to save the ozone, air, and provide cleaner air for our younger generations who are coming up after us
• Living longer lives. Face it. Hard, manual labor will eventually take time of our lives, so what does a few feet of tall grass do to harm anyone? Live and let live.
• Our society will be more-tolerant of other races, tongues and lifestyles. Point: the Arab and Jewish nations in the Middle East have little or no grass to cut, and they are always happy and dancing around like life was a celebration. And it should be celebrated if you ask me.
• Cutting grass irritates the insect world that uses our lawns to raise their families and if we keep cutting their homes, it will affect our ecosystem.

"Easy Ways to Have The Worst-Looking Lawn in Your Neighborhood"

1. Doze frequently and often. You work your behind off at your job five days a week, so why beat yourself up on the weekend? If you are already doing this, good for you.
2. Drink lots of beer when it is hot outside. Actually doing burdensome lawn work will lead to heat stroke and then a stay in the hospital and if you haven't looked lately . . .hospital bills are very expensive. Do you really want to have another hefty bill on top of what you already owe?
3. Tell neighborhood soccer-playing kids that they can use your lawn for practice. Their parents will think of you as a saint for sparing them the task of driving them a long way to practice for their games, and you will be doing them a favor by saving them gas, plus helping to save our ozone. Buddy, all of this time, I thought you were only lazy and didn't want to work when all of the time you were more-conscious of our pollution problem that I was.
4. Get in touch with local 4x4, monster truck clubs and let them use your lawn for outdoor exhibits and you will NOT charge them anything. You will even use your own water to make your lawn a huge mud hole for their huge trucks to race in and excite the huge crowds that pay to see them.
5. Now this one does require a little work. Go to the countryside and find parasitical-weeds such as Ragweed, Milkweed, Bitter weed and such. Then set them all out in your lawn. Soon you cannot tell your lawn for the ugly weeds.
6. Have two or three meetings a week of your neighborhood gang of buddies who all love beer. So have them to bring their lawn chairs, coolers filled with cold ones and sit around on your lawn--laughing, telling jokes, and watching your lawn grow as tall as your knees.
7. Snakes will love you if you do not cut your grass. You see, snakes are intelligent. They appreciate you doing them a favor for allowing them a place to live and reproduce.
8. Call-up high schools in your area and tell them that if they need a free place to practice, just come over to your home and they can use your lawn all that they want.
9. Sure, a few narrow-minded neighbors will call the city hall to complain about your jungle that is growing over your house, but you can stop this by getting out your lawnmower and "act' like you are cutting your grass, but you are really cutting the grass of the complaining neighbors. And when the angry neighbors yell, "Stop cutting my grass, you fool!" Do it. At least you tried to be a good neighbor.
10. Your taking the trash cans to the curb for pick-up worries are history. Just dump all of your trash in your yard. Sure this lifestyle takes someone who thinks outside the normal perimeter of a normal person, but the dividends are great.
11. Transplant a few fire ant hills in your yard. This will take patience, so just keep at it, and in time, your yard will not be a grassy-nuisance anymore, but a desert-looking patch of ground.

If you follow

these easy-to-do tips that are found on this piece, that is if you have the courage to do them, then you will be around a long time for all of our mutual friends in "HubVille," to see, talk to, and enjoy your hubs too.

But . . .if you insist on baking in the sun cutting grass that will only grow back, then please take it easy and drink plenty of fluids so you will not dehydrate.

Sincerely,

Kenneth