How To Know If YOU Are Being Ignored . . .
81Can you imagine the pain this humble man is feeling, wanting to join in the conversation, only to be ignored?
More poor people being ignored
BEING
IGNORED
is probably one of the most-painful areas that a person can be in life. Being ignored is one thing, but not knowing that you and I are being ignored is another kettle of fish.
I have been on both sides of this fence. As the one being ignored. And he one who foolishly-ignored some rather wise people. I hated my days of youth.
I hope, that by reading this story, although presented in a comical light, we can learn a few solid truths about if we are the poor souls who are being ignored by those love the most. Our friends. Maybe family.
SHORT, SWEET
to-the-point. No one ever said that hubs had to be lengthy to be good. The photos I have used in this story should tell most of the story I am presenting, "How To Know If You Are Being Ignored," for a 'thousand photos speak louder than a few words,' or something of that nature.
I have tried to cushion the harsh truth of this story with some tongue-in-cheek humor, but even with humor, the feeling of being ignored is still painful. Depressing. Lonely. And can lead to, in some cases, of people developing serious sociological phobias.
Now sit back, nudge your pals and say, "Kenneth's not kidding around. He means business."
I've been both, the ignored. And the one who was doing the ignoring. Both are not pleasant. At all. I deserved my part of being ignored thanks to the karma of the universe who got even with me for some foolish, youthful decisions of not wanting to hurt the group that did accept me by talking to people they didn't accept. Take my word for it. Karma sees all. And doesn't forget.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW
why people ignore other people. And sadly our kind, loving animal friends as well. Could be it is a deep, rooted character flaw that makes us, the imperfect mortals, either too greedy or insecure to turn loose of our 'security blankets,' the people who are most like us, to just welcome those who are a bit different who only want to be our friends. Until I did some research on this topic, I was convinced that ignoring others and being ignored was exclusive with us, the human race. Not so, according to the experts at The Discovery Channel. The acts of ignoring and being ignored are visible in apes, chimps, hyenas, wild hogs, and some species of tropical birds.
Small world. Live and learn. But even with all of our secured-wisdom, the pain of being ignored is nonetheless deep. Brutal. And breeds long-lasting resentment, while the act of ignoring others is still cold and heartless by any standard. One could easily draw the conclusion that being ignored and being senseless enough to ignore others are just two of the illusive cruelties in life that will never be resolved. Or understood.
But for a moment, let's separate the two 'beasts,' ignoring others and being ignored by others. And only deal with the one hard-hearted 'beast,' being ignored by others. That way. We stand a much easier and far-better chance of experiencing some sense of dominance and equality when we are the victims of being ignored by our fellow man. In short, fore armed is fore warned.
Here some sure-signs. Dead give-away's. Tip-off's.
Ways To Know When We Are Being Ignored . . .
- In a small group of friends, when those around YOU, or I, talk to each other and never say a word to us. And we are left standing there--looking as intelligent as a storefront mannequin.
- When YOU or I start a new topic of conversation, we get halfway though introducing the topic, then suddenly, without any consideration, someone coldly blurts out, "That's fine," and takes over the conversation.
- When YOU or I, tell what we think is a seriously-controversial and interesting story, and we reach the ending, everyone looks dumbfounded and says, "What? Did you say something?'
- People we are desperately trying to talk to, keep looking at their watches.
- The only verbal responses YOU or I hear when we talk to people are, "Yeah," and "Right," said by people not even looking at us face-to-face.
- "Be right there, John!" is what we hear the most as we start a casual chat with someone we thought was our friend. And what is most-discomforting is that YOU and I know for a fact that there no one named "John," at this gathering.
- People bump into us and never say, "excuse me," just keep walking.
- When our names are drawn for the door prize and we raise our hands to signal that we are there in-person, the host keeps calling out more names.
- We are introduced by a mutual friend as, "Mac," and "Jimmy," our real names, but the people we are introduced to continually call us, "Tom," and "Tony."
- When we are sitting on a sofa, people look around us in order to talk to the people sitting on the other side of us.
- People give us their coats thinking we are the coat-check clerks.
- When introduced, "Bill has been with our company for over 30 years," guests ask us, "Are you new here?"
- When we finish what we think is a blockbuster-of-a-story, our only response is, "so, what's your point?"
- The host's pet poodle uses us as a tree to relieve itself.
- When we park our cars at the host's house, and are walking into the house, other drivers never honk at us to get out of the way.
- We accidentally set fire to our pants with the dessert, crepe suzette's, the host runs over and asks the person next to us, "can I freshen up your drink?"
- People use "us" as coat and hat racks.
- Smokers at the party put out their cigarettes on our arms.
- The host's pet Siamese thinks we are a "claw tree," used to sharpen its claws.
- When we sit down in the den to relax after the meal, people put their feet up on "us" thinking we are footstools.
These are 20 sure-fire was to know when we are being ignored.
And here are some sure-fire signs to tell us when
We Are Ignoring Others . . .
- We forget, too-easily, what the other person's name is.
- We catch ourselves dozing-off in the middle of the other person's conversation.
- We yawn (like we've not slept in days) as we listen to someone telling us a serious story about a near-death experience they had on the operating table.
- We keep calling the female hostess, "June," when her name is "Carol."
- When another person finishes the story they were telling us and ask, "What do you think?" We stutter, "about what?"
- Our 'drumming' our fingers on the table while someone is talking is a dead give-away that we are one, ignoring them. And two, we are severely-bored.
- As someone is talking to us, we cannot stop munching Dorito's and dip. And do not apologize for the nerve-racking munching.
- When a person starts talking to us about a subject 'we' deem as uninteresting, we suddenly jump to our feet and yell, "anyone want me to do some animal shadows on the wall?"
- As someone is telling us a story that is funny to 'them,' we are caught punching someone else in the side--pointing to a good-looking woman in the other part of the room.
- For some reason we reply, "nice to know that leotards are flammable, Bob," but Bob's informative story was about animal abuse.
So are you geared-up? Ready for the holiday party scene? You should be with these tips that you can be sure that you are either being ignored or ignoring someone else.
I am so glad that you stuck around to read my story that took me several hours to produce. I must say that you are a patient crowd of people to lend me your attention for such a notable length of time.
Do what? Why are you laughing? No, my name is not "Larry!"
If My Story Doesn't Help, Maybe This Will . . .
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Wow you put a lot into this KA. Only one I usually ignore is the wife, and that usually ends in physical pain (usually of an auditory nature) so I wouldn't recommend that. I think she's almost cured me of it so that's good news. :-)
Seriously I've been ignored - not fun. Love your humor!
12/3, 2:07 a.m/cst
Hey, hotdorkabe...where have you been? I have been missing you and your colourful and interesting comments. A spy? Yes, that would be a great upside to being ignored. I was recalling, and hoping to forget, at the same time, the cruelty and pain that those whom I viewed as friends, inflicted on people like yours truly from 1967-1972...six long years of this unneeded agony and why? I will never know. But what did these 'goodie' people accomplish by ignoring my friends and me? Not one solitary thing. Just the empty pleaure of shutting us out of helping with our junior and senior proms and all of the class activities that ALL of us were supposed to have access to. Im still living. And NOT using these folks as an example. Thanks for the visit and comment, dear hotdorkage. And please, Have a Merry Christmas.
12/3
2:12 a.m/cst
Hello . . .Lapse! LOL, what a funny comment. I appreciate YOUR humor too. At this hour, I needed a solid laugh. Thank YOU very MUCH...are you listening??? I thought you might be deeply-involved in reading a roadmap as I was commenting...but you were still attentive. Appreciate you NOT ignoring me. LOL, Kenneth and you and yours have a Merry Christmas..uh, oh...what if Santa plays the ignoring game????
Love it! The absolute worst, worst, worst, is a parent who is so focused on something, say the TV, and the whole time the child relays his conversation to said parent; parent never lifts eyes from TV-no eye contact with kid. Parent says "uh huh" to everything the kids says without a thought. I admit, with five kids, I can't say I've never done that, I most likely did; but when I caught my oldest son doing it to a nephew while son was glued to a football game, he got the lecture. Just a thought. Thanks again. Merry Ho-Ho
Great hub! I have a friend with a son that has some real behavior problems. Problem is - she ignores him! She is glued to her phone, her computer, busyness around the house. Then she goes and works out for hours. Poor kid.
Kenneth - now who would ignore you? Lol. I think we have all been on both sides of that fence! Really funny hub - and makes me think twice about being more careful when I am ignoring someone else:) haha!
Excellent hub Ken, I find hubs on interpersonal relationships very interesting, and yours are very well written. I really enjoyed this one. It makes me aware of the times I act in an insensitive way, and that is important to know, because I do care how I come across. Great work, rated it up.
Being a very quiet person, I get ignored quite often. I wish I had a big booming voice that got attention instead of this little lady like voice that no one seems to hear. Good Hub. Goodnigh.
You are too funny! If that's possible. Do you sideline as a standup comic? If not, you should. You are such a talented man! Great writer--so creative! Keep 'em coming. :)
Heheheee Kenneth. always so crafty and clever. This is filled with a lot of peak details that certainly would grab anyone's attention. Certainly not something to be IGNORED!! hahaha
Loved it...
12/4
The-BestMouseTrap, good morning. It's 12:53 a.m./cst, and I am now just getting online. Had to be gone all day for a personal project. GLAD to see YOU again! And I agree with the frustration in your comment about the parent(s) who "agree" with children just to satisfy them. I've been that child. And adult. And no matter the age, being ignored is NOT fun. And to me, now at this age, when I am tempted to IGNORE anyone, I catch myself with the painful memories of me longing to be heard by those I admired. But never was heard. Maybe me being ignored taught me, even though hard, the way to treat people. Thanks again, DEAR friend!
Hi, steph! Long time since I've heard from you. Hope you are doing well. Thanks for the visit on this hub and your ACCURATE comment, 'poor kid,' for it is right. The child is a very-lonely child. I hope that the parent you are talking about, wakes up and sees the damage that 'worshipping' things can do. Take care, steph!
RealHouseWife...I have missed YOU! And I appreciate your comment, who could ignore me, well I can list some, and it will take a LOOOONNNG time. I wouldnt treat YOU or any of my VALUED followers that way. Thanks for coming by to see me. And I do hope that I havent ignored any of your comments. That would be awful. Come back often, RealHouseWife!
Internetwriter, please tell me, "how I can repay such a sweet remark, as yours?" I do my very best to make YOU and my FOLLOWERS and NON-followers happy. In some fashion. I thank God for YOU and My Friends On HubPages and appreciate God's love and mercy to allow me to use my PC for this valued haven. Have a safe Sunday, my sweet friend.
Dear Mary, I knew a few quiet people in high school and I tried my best to include them in my talks with others. Some didn't want to participate. And some did. So maybe a difference was made in the lives of those who joined us in our "serious" high school talks. Thank you, Mary, for your sweet friendship and encouragement. Good night.
Hello, gaillovesbijou, Wow, too funny, you say? Where do I mail you my check for this wonderful comment? You, my friend, must be psychic, for a few months before I came on Hubs, I dreamed of being a stand-up comic and was captivated by the comics of Comedy Central, but I found out by a documentary how hard it is to break into this "easy" work. Some work their entire lives and never make it. Some start and in a month or two, they are successful. No magic, standard formula. I think it's who you know. Or what you know. I really dont know, but I DO KNOW that I loved your remark. And I wish you a happy Sunday.
1:07 a.m/cst
12/4
Hello, Dear Friend, Jinny! Thank YOU kindly for your comment. This sounds corny, but I treasure YOUR comments and all of those made by my Followers and potential followers. Words DO have power. And yours always makes me smile. Happy Sunday to you.
Hi Kenneth, I have to agree with RealHousewife, who in their right minds could ever ignore you?
But I am guilty of of ignoring, and being ignored. In retrospect, if I ignore you, it simply means that I don't like you. And if you ignore me, I usually take it that you don't like me.
As a mother of 3 children, I can say that I have said uh-huh or ok to one of mine when they were little children...UNTIL my second husband (their step father) pointed out to me one day that I need to listen to what they are telling me. That shook me out of my stupor.
I made a very conscious effort from that day forward to actually look at my child and really listen to what they were saying to me.
As for adults, I really do try to listen to what each and everyone says to me. I only start to start ignoring another adult if said adult starts going on and on about how great his/her children are, how great their life is, how great they are. That tunes me right out.
Great article Kenneth. Many things you stated hit home.
12/4 at 1:36 a.m., cst
Hello, sharewhatuknow, "Thank YOU, so MUCH for YOUR kind and sweet words that touch me. I do appreciate your input and advice. And this was written from first-hand experiences and was not easy. Since the days in high school and later as an adult who got ignored at several of my jobs, and even some churches, I have learned that God is the reason for us being here and it is He who I need to pay attention to first, and pray that He helps me each day to listen to one person, because THAT one person may be an angel in human form. That is POSSIBLE. And I wish YOU a Very Happy and Safe Sunday and come back for a visit ANYTIME you like. Kenneth
Wow Kenneth, I have thought of that too, or more specifically, had that feeling ! Regarding guardian angels in human form I mean. For instance, you are walking or driving around and you see someone that anyone would say is a street bum begging...How do we know that this individual is not a guardian angel in human disguise just to see who will ignore him and who won't ??
You have a very happy and safe Sunday too Kenneth. And oh yes, I will be back. Yes I will...muhahahaha
Kenneth,
Quite an interesting hub, and this really makes a person think about what to be aware of when being around people! They say that a large part of communication is body language. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good hubbing. :-)
Easylearningweb
Hi Kenneth,
I can relate to this article. Being an introvert, I get ignored. Cause I am not loud and don't have the need to be the centre of attention.
There was the time I thought someone was interested in me by all the attention he was paying to me. Next time I saw him at a different event and he didn't completely ignore me but he was politely cool. There was another girl.
Great hub as always Kenneth.
Voted up, up and away!
Hope you had a great weekend. :-)
12/4/2011
9:11 p.m./cst
Hello, sharewhatuknow, "Thank YOU so much for your sweet comment. I agree with you about angels. They do stay near us when we are not aware of their presence and many is the time that they meet us and we just go on about our business. Thank you so much for gently reminding me of my guardian angels, who have a full-time job taking care of me. Hebrews 13:2. And hey, I am GLAAADD that YOU are back and will be back...Love that laugh of yours. Kenneth
12/4/2011, Hello, easylearningweb . . ."Thanks so much for your input. I was mostly "preaching" to myself with this hub. Both, ignoring and being ingored are two of life's harshest areas and I do not want to venture into either. Thanks for the comment on this hub. I dearly appreciate it.
12/4/2011
Dearest Susan . . ."THANK YOU FROM THE HEART, for your warm comments, confession and votes. That is so sad, what you wrote, about that guy showing you some attention then having another girl later." "This is not classy, to me." "I wish I had a dollar for the times that I was ignored, by so-called friends, and I would own a nice home, car, and some land." "Oh well. Live and learn. What a classroom life is. Right?" Dear Susan, thank you again and have a safe and happy Monday! Sincerely, Kenneth
Very interesting, Kenneth! I totally agree with you ;D
Hello, Dear "V," Thank YOU sincerely. Your comments literally touch my heart. And I appreciate your support so very much. Your friend, Kenneth
Hi, I think I will stay in this Christmas! lol! I am one of the poor ignored! especially with my friends who always have to talk and talk, I just sit there looking glum! in the end I walk away and they don't notice for about an hour! I totally agree about the people who walk into you and ignore you, drives me insane! I love your humour in this, rated up! cheers nell
Dear Nell, thank you, friend, for this sincere and much-appreciated remark. I am sorry for how friends treat you. Some of my so-called friends do that to me also and its no fun at all. Let's just be "us" and if people like us, fine. If not, fine. And I do love your comments. Thanks again. Have a safe night. KENNETH
Interesting. Voted up.
Hello, daydreamer, THANK YOU and Thanks for the vote. Are you okay? I ask because of your brief comment. If theres anything I can do, just summon me. I mean it. Kenneth
Again, this is so funny! And, I mean it when I say I like your writing style. Your articles are so easy to read and so enjoyable. I hope you are printing these in the Hamilton newspaper!
Life is tough isn't it? We are all ignored at one time or another. When I'm ignored, I just move on and talk to someone else. I figure it's the other person's loss. As one of my friends recenty told me, "You talk to everybody all the time!" Yes, that's so I don't ignore anyone. Being a former teacher, we can't ignore anyone or any student, even though, at times, we would love to. So, I'm used to sticking it out in conversation with just about anyone. It is the fun of being a teacher!
I like the eclectic topics you pick to write about. I would never think to write a hub on this topic, but you do and you do it well. I would say, just keep being yourself and letting your writing flow out, and you'll be fine. I don't really have anything bad to say about your writing. I think you are doing just fine!
Do you write a column for your newspaper? These hubs would make great topics for a column. I hope you consider doing that.
Dear Suzette, Thank YOU humbly for your sweet and warm words, but I DID work for the Journal Record in Hamilton for 23 years. I left in 2000 to work for an FM Rock Station where I was to get my own talk show, but I was deceived by a clever station manager and was kept on the road begging people to buy time. I did write a column years ago. And I appreciate, so much, YOU saying that these hubs need to be run in a paper. That makes me happy. Only you, with your deep sense of caring for others, would say that. And I am eternally grateful for you and our friendship. God bless you richly, Suzette.
Man! It really feels bad to have this feeling. I have felt it myself many times but I as usual overcame them..
12/8..hi, shamelabboush, Thanks for this honest and touching comment. I too know more about BEING ignored than ignoring. And I agree. BEING ignored is the bottom of the barrel of "bummer" feelings. You feel out of place, unwanted, in the way, want to leave. You can relate. Thanks for this comment that I appreciate. And I must ask, "Where did you get your fascinating name?" I love it. And I add, "Merry Christmas to you and yours from me and my various characters in my imagination. YOU are much-appreciated......KENNETH
Beautifully done! I am sure that there is no person on this earth who hasn't felt that unpleasant feeling... Thank you for sharing your thoughts about that with us...Really love your style!
Happy Holidays!
Thought I better hop over and say HI! Then I saw this hub and thought... being ignored is usually a good thing. They are the ones you don't want in your life anyway.
(cept the kid thing)
Great hub though. I was at my 6mo. Dr. check up and he asked if I wanted a flu shot. Of course I said no. I loved his response.. "You won't go be around anybody anyway so you won't get sick." At least we got a laugh, I told him if there was someone I could tolerate I might catch a cold and be back. lol.
::sigh:: No offense I'm just wondering what will happen when I click the constipation ad LOL! *hehe*
Hello Ken.. wanted to leave you a comment so you didn't feel ignored.. LOL.. This is very funny. I love coming to your page. There is always something here to make me smile. Awesome job!
12/9
Hello to SpiritLeo, "Thank you, my new friend. Your warm comment is received with much-gratefulness of heart." "Glad that you liked this. And hope that I can acknowledge YOU and ALL of my Valued Followers in the weeks to come for YOU ALL mean a LOT to me." And Happy Holidays to you as well.
KENNETH
12/9, Katharella, you are one-amazing writer and friend. I love the interaction with your doctor. Have you ever had a doctor ask you this certainly-obvious question,"Hey, what brings you to my office--you sick?" No, I just felt like crusing the neighborhood and checking out your receptionist, doc!" That is what I will say when I see my family doctor Monday, Dec. 12. Thanks, Katharella, for always being so sweet, nice and cheering me up. Please have a safe weekend and a Merry Christmas.
KENNETH
12/9
Hello, Dear Tammyswallow! This was so perfect, your comment. I was honestly beginning to feel the twinges of being ignored UNTIL...you left me this comment. Saved in a nick of the keyboard. Thank you, Tammy. Guess what song I was singing (alone, the only way I can sing) this morning as I was pouring myself a cup of coffee? One Toke Over The Line (Brewer & Shipley)...you are too young to remember these guys. That had nothing to do with being ignored, but it was fun to throw that comment your way. Merry Christmas, Tammy and that covers your family and friends as well.
KENNETH
lol.. that's like getting pulled over and the cop says "Any idea why I pulled you over" "Oh, well no OFFISLURRR I didn't noticed the weaving -oh darn where's the basket- er.. I mean is 110mph against the law?"
*snicker* = CLANK "wow, they give you food and a bed & shower GROOVY MAN, somehow the surroundings make me wish I got the flu shot" hahaa.. heh.. :D
LOL to be ignored is a bad thing, one like me i'd bat in my crease very quickly and zip my lips. I am not made up for embarassment so i take front before it takes me.
Katharella...LOL, what a scene for a screenplay this comment. The screenplay is called, "Prisoner of Time," about a woman, YOU, who accidentally, after a night of hard-partying with friends because her BFF, Jill is moving out of town, breaks into a secret government laboratory where the C.I.A. HAS invented a silent time machine. You know the rest. She walks into the chamber, falls asleep, but as she is lying down, her elbow pulls the lever to ON and she wakes up in 1966...in a car, with a pint of Old Crow, and a police officer trying to get her, well, you, to answer his questions. Needless to say, you, the character, is very confused. If written, you will have to write this screenplay in second person to get the full-affect. Just a thought. Have a sweet day, my good friend, Katharella. And keep in touch with me. Please??? and Merry Christmas to you.
Well, I mean it Kenneth. I would certainly buy the paper to read your columns. They are eclectic, quirky and funny and not the usual media fare. And that is a compliment to your writing. It is not like all the other "stuff" I read. Journalism, both print and broadcast, has changed for the worst and is not what it used to be - but what is nowadays? Yes, unscrupulous bosses can be a pain in the "you know what", but don't give up and remember, those that endure and are still standing (which you are) are the true successes in life!
12/14
Dear suzette,
Thank YOU so very, very MUCH for this, and all of your sweet comments. This comment will definitely be one that I keep stored-away in my heart and enjoy whenever I want to. I would, if given the chance, write columns from my home for I have the tools and could simply email my materials to whatever paper would be willing to gamble on running what I like to write about. And suzette, I appreciate YOU as my friend, follower, writer, adviser, and a down-right great lady. I mean it too. I know class when I read it. And each comment of yours I read, it speaks C L A S S to me. Merry Christmas, the best ever, to you and yours and I will look for you later on hubs. Kenneth
Very interesting article! I liked the fact that you were unbiased about the whole thing. Looking at both sides (being ignored and being the one ignoring the other person:-). Either way, it is an uncomfortable situation. I am also currently writing an article about the same topic. I have, yet, to publish it, though, but I will very soon:-). Keep up the good work! God bless!
Caroline, hey do it! Publish your article. I would wager and win that it is far-better than this one! And yes, being ignored is rough. A bit rougher than the self-centered person who IGNORES you and others. It hurts worse too.
Thanks for your comment, Caroline. Keep up YOUR great work and God bless you also.
Kenneth
Thank you for giving me your blessing re: my article, Kenneth! I really do appreciate it very much:-).
Dear Caroline . . .dear heart, you are much welcome. Glad that I could, in my small way, help a far-more-talented writer than myself. Remember me when you write your first Best-Seller.
Your friend,
Kenneth
That is very nice of you to say, Kenneth! I am humbled by your kind words:-). You do the same, my friend!:-)
Take care,
Caroline
Dearest Caroline, my Friend, you are very welcome. Anytime. And I will always consider YOU my Special friend. Okay?
hot dorkage Level 2 Commenter 5 months ago
It is painfully obvious to me when I am being ignored Ken. But hey, this guy who used to behave as if he didn't know me in public could have plausibly pretended he didn't see me today, but instead he actually took a second of his precious time and said hi, and the world didn't end, so maybe he'll do it the next time.
There is a whole upside to being the person who is always ignored: we make absolutely awesome spies. I think I missed my calling by not being a career spy. I've done a bit of amateur spying here and there and no one ever suspects me of anything because no one notices me. I just wear glasses and carry a clipboard and act like I'm the dust bunny counter or something and I get into places I shouldn't be let in. I bet I'd be really good at shoplifting too, but that's against my principles.